Thursday, October 18, 2012

31 Days of Repetitive Parening: Day 18 "It's not about you."

The other day Cupcake and I were shopping for a gift for a baby shower.  Two elderly ladies were in the aisle with us and overheard me gently remind Cupcake, as she begged for various toys, that "it's not about you."  The women, smiled and quipped, "Don't you know?  It's always about her!"  I laughed and replied, "She certainly thinks it is!"

We can't expect our toddlers to understand that the universe does not revolve around them, because as far as they are does!  That is perfectly normal as they are developing a sense of identity and awareness of self and others.  We need to help them understand the little world in which they live and develop a healthy self identity.  It takes persistence!

Persistence is a key ingredient to parenting, hence the Repetitive Parenting from which I suffer!

Not only do we have to teach our toddler the concept that, "It's not about you," but we need to remind our teens of the same concept on a regular basis.  Think about it, are there any other stages in life that are more self-absorbed than preschool and high school?!

Naturally, we have to hit both stages at once!

The self-centeredness that our teens exhibit is vastly different than that of a toddler.  Most often we have to remind them that it's not all about them when we are trying to coordinate the five conflicting family schedules we might have on any given Saturday.  It may mean that Darlin' misses out on a movie with friends, so Hubby and I can attend our church small group.  It may mean that I drive the 40 minute round trip to school twice in a day, just to accommodate Darlin' and Bud's schedules, despite the interruption in Cupcake's nap.

Get the picture?!  It's not all about me, either.

Our hope is that each of our kids realize that we try to make room in the schedule to allow them to pursue their interests.   More importantly, we want them to be considerate of each other and understand the give and take that is necessary in any relationship.

Just as we need to remind them that "it's not all about you," conversely we need to purposefully make it all about them on occasion.  We tend to do this for birthdays and special events.  It's important to us that our kids do feel special and loved, but balance that with teaching them to think of others.

"It's not about you" bears repeating in order to avoid raising selfish or spoiled kids.  I highly recommend repeating it often!

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